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Joke of the Day

"If a woman wants to date me, she has to meet my strict criteria 1. Hair 2. At least one eye 3. A pulse 4. Not that bothered about 1"

"Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on."

"*Spoiler Alert* Siamese cats are just one cat, not two cats in one."

"What sex position produces the ugliest offspring? I don't know go ask your mom."

"Her: I'm just a vintage soul Me: and a vintage face.. That's how the fight started"

"What happened when Helium told a joke? There was no reaction"

"If you spell race car backwards... You get what Honda owners wish they had."

"What do fish smoke? Seewead"

"My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away."

"what kind of file makes a 1 inch hole into a 3 inch hole? a pedophile"