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Joke of the Day

"If a woman wants to date me, she has to meet my strict criteria 1. Hair 2. At least one eye 3. A pulse 4. Not that bothered about 1"

"What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: Snowballs."

"Poker is like sex Not fun to watch if there are a lot of folds"

"Where do burgers go when they die? Burgatory"

"To this day, no song pumps me up as much as the theme from 'Bill Nye the Science Guy.'"

"How does an elephant get down from a tree ? He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !"

"Eggs and Toast walk into a bar And the bartender says, ""We don't serve breakfast here."""

"I would rather... die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"For every movie about Vietnam starring Chuck Norris, the historical duration of the war decreases. Just 3 more ""Missing in Action"" sequels, and that war will have never actually existed."

"Ronda Rousey and I have something in common We both finish in 34 seconds."