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Joke of the Day

"To this day, no song pumps me up as much as the theme from 'Bill Nye the Science Guy.'"

"Remember when you were young and everything was new and you were filled with optimism and hope? Anyway here's a new thing to buy from Apple."

"Where animal does Russian milk come from? moscows"

"[at my funeral] ventriloquist: please don't judge me, he paid me a lot of money to do this me: hi everybody!"

"I once had a job with elephants The pay was low, but the tips were huge."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but I have no clue how they got in there."

"Why is semen white and pee yellow? So you know whether he's coming or going."

"A poor virgin had a big black guy as a landlord Now he's just poor."

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog? Stupid."

"Misery: Hello there! Company: I have a boyfriend..."