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Joke of the Day

"Poker is like sex Not fun to watch if there are a lot of folds"

"*aggressively skips to my Lou*"

"Some idiot in a nightclub came up to me and said, ""I get 20 times more girls than you do, haha. ""I replied, 20 x 0 = 0."""

"Cop: You look pretty beat up, how many attackers did you say there was? [flashback to me showing the cat my nunchuk skills] Me: Easily 10"

"You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it..."

"my wife's favorite joketo tell What do you call a peanut with a cold? Cashew! she was so proud of herself for making me laugh with this one."

"If Arnold does star in the new Predator movie.. He would probably be sent back in time with his Expendables team to kill the Predator who was the actual John Connor."

"I'm not saying four kids is too many, I'm just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that's all."

"How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her."

"What do you call a jerking off well-endowed midget? A huge short coming."