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Joke of the Day

"Where do burgers go when they die? Burgatory"

"Why do they call them brrr-itos when they're not even cold?"

"If you love someone set them on fire. Did I get that right? Oh god what have I done. It's SET THEM FREE isn't it? Sorry burning loved one."

"Book about skeletons? **SPINE**"

"""President Clinton, can you respond to rumors of renewed infidelity?"" The only woman in my life is my darling *squints at notecard* Hitlery"

"What do Emos and automatic lights have in common? They'll both off themselves eventually."

"Kidnappers: We have your husband. Send us $10,000 if you ever want to see him again. Me: Where I should drop off his clothes?"

"My sister had a threesome with two huge pornstars. Now she's not sure if she had a good time or not. Truth is, she's a little torn."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog What's wrong with that I think I'm going to croak"

"I don't trust Bonsai trees. They are a little shady."