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Joke of the Day

"A few years ago, Katy Perry came up to me at a party and whispered, ""I want you to pound my little asshole."" ""You're on."" I narrowed my eyes, ""Is he here?"""

"""is that blood or ketchup?"" ketchup ""how is that even possible?"" *surgeon stops making incision* I don't know"

"What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college? Coagulations!"

"People who say they don't have any problems are lying to you, but at least give them credit for not telling you about them."

"What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late!"

"""Wow this pizza is amazing"" Yes, well it's our specialty dough. We soak it in pickle juice. Dill pickle juice actually. It's a dilldough"

"Lost my Droid for an hour. The day I lost my daughter at the zoo is now the second most terrifying experience of my life."

"Only in America can you be born a poor black boy and grow up to be a rich white woman. Take Michael Jackson for example"

"What did the Vietnamese architect say to the Chinese post man? CHING CHONG"

"My parents wanted to name me Odysseus because I, too, broke through the Trojan wall."