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Joke of the Day

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except one... ...he's never gonna give you *Up.*"

"19 and 20 got into a fight... Now they're facing 123 years on disturbing the peace."

"I was having dinner with a snowman... The other day I was having dinner with a snowman, and he says ""Am I crazy, or does it smell like carrots in here?"""

"""Well I should probably get off twitter. I have to be at work in 15 minutes and I haven't even showered yet."" - me and at least 100 of you"

"What's the capital of Wisconsin? W"

"What's the difference between a hungry girl and a horny girl? Where she puts the cucumber."

"What time is it when 10 elephants are chasing you? 10 after 1"

"Inspired by Baby Jesus, I'm hoping to get nailed this weekend."

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They've already screwed everything"

"Disney is releasing an alternate version of its latest film for the Indian audience where Nemo's father starts looking for a bride for his son. It's called Finding Dowry."