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Joke of the Day

"I electrified a clickbait journalist's toilet. Number 2 will shock them."

"Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because they're two-tired."

"Budweiser is like sex on the beach... It's fucking close to water"

"This day in history. 1914. The first WWI trenches were dug if you don't count the one my grandfather was already hiding from the officers in"

"I had to break up with my French horn playing girlfriend... ...She was great, but every time we kissed she tried to put her fist in my ass."

"Have you heard about the guy who got frozen to the absolute freezing point? Don't worry, he's 0K now."

"I hava a blind chinese friend His name was Kenneth Sy"

"Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look like Victoria's Secret Angels."

"Did you hear about the Muslim artists who threw paint bombs at a building? They blue it up."

"LUCY: Dad, how did I get my name? [flashback] ME (signing contract in blood): Ok but can we at least shorten it? LUCIFER: That's fine"