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Joke of the Day

"I remain convinced that the only people who can gracefully sprint in stilettos are prostitutes."

"Why don't you want to eat pussy in the morning? Have you ever tried to spread a grilled cheese?"

"Just once, I'd like to open up my refrigerator and find cartoon versions of my favorite foods arguing over which one of them is healthier."

"I took my kids to the aquarium. ""If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!"" I suggested to my son. ""Grow up,"" said the woman behind the ticket booth."

"Did you know that no matter how much you move a piece of paper, It remains stationary..."

"What do you call a woman who obsesses over learning about sex? An info-maniac."

"I like my women the way I like my pools... Filled with chlorine twice a month."

"Hi, I'm from the American Medical Association! AMA!"

"Man, the way these journalists are complaining it's like they only went to Sochi to use doorknobs and go poop."

"Pooped without my phone this morning, just like Gandhi."