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Joke of the Day

"I should never read tweets at work because I laugh out loud and everyone asks what's funny and I have to say this excel spreadsheet."

"The hardest part about dying is finding a body double to sit in a coffin for you while you take off to party island."

"Her: *flipping pages* Ya know, everything doesn't have to be about you Me: but that's my autobiography"

"When I see a girl, I first look at her hair. Then at her eyes, lips, neck... Damn dial-up!"

"White folk hate math. Especially when they heard in Calculus they'd have to integrate."

"Why did the Indian pedophile miss work? He was feeling a little Sikh."

"My money is on MySpace to take the Gold in the Downhill Competition."

"4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed... 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects..."

"I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The pinata is unscathed."

"Pro debating tip: Shave one eyebrow and draw a new one really high."