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Joke of the Day

"Columbus: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Well Columbus: *just yanks me out of my car and drives off in it*"

"why didn't jimmy drive the tractor? Because he had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? Because he was a potato."

"Broken Pencils are pointless."

"What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies."

"Don't cry over spilled milk. And broken eggs. And a violated ham. And-FINE, I'LL LEAVE. This isn't the only grocery store in town, you know."

"What did the frog with the speech impediment say? ""Thibbit"""

"Tourist in America I was going to take my wife to visit all the sites where they protested the police shooting of innocent black men. But i've only got 6 months...plus community service."

"Hitler arrives at the Pearly Gates... ...and says to St Peter, ""Sorry about the whole Jew thing."" St Peter replies, ""You did your best."""

"The hardest part about breaking up with your Japanese girlfriend... Is that you have to drop the bomb twice.."

"Hello 911 my son is a terrorist he won't eat AMERICAN cheese. Almost two. Yes I'll hold. Hello Child Protection Services my son is a terrori"