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Joke of the Day
"I like my jokes like my coffee bland"
Next Joke
"If Shakespeare was a pun master Then he would make a play on words"
"Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper ""Ew, ew, ew, ew."" while doing it."
"My phone auto-fills FUCKLULZ. Do I get my own bot now?"
"A man walks into a bar..... His alcoholism is tearing his family apart."
"Why crush your kid's imagination by telling them the Tooth Fairy ""doesn't exist"" when you can just have her leave a suicide note?"
"Just made eye contact with an old guy as he slowly licked an ice cream cone. Great, like I don't have enough shit keeping me up at night."
"For every selfie you take, the universe throws another rock at our planet."
"Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever."
"How is Debbie Reynolds like my penis? They both had a stroke when they saw Carrie Fishers body."