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Joke of the Day

"I have 3 moods: - Skips every song on my iPod. - Lets the music play without interruption. - Plays the same song on repeat for days."

"My love for you is like gonorrhea... It burns!"

"I call my kettle Jim Carey, because it brews-all-my-tea."

"[Interview] ""Tell me your weaknesses"" Me: Well, I.. *wife busts in* He's a mouth breather, leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take out th"

"I bought myself a new hairdryer but it's faulty. It sucks."

"Whats the difference between a Pizza and Jew? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"How come you never see black people on ships? They aint falling for that shit again."

"Why can't the bishop walk straight? Cause he can only move diagonally"

"Why do melons have fancy weddings? Because they cantelope!"

"How does Trent Reznor's mom hang up his Christmas stocking? With a Nine Inch Nail."