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Joke of the Day

"My 5 year old thinks that there's a monster under his bed so I assured him that it won't get him as long as he stays in bed until 8AM."

"What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat? A row bot."

"What did the bull say to the green eyed cow? I can't get pasteurize."

"So much gross product placement in THE SHINING. It's like, fine, I'll buy an axe."

"Q:What's the fastest way to end an Iraqi bingo game? A:Call B52"

"I had a good Fallout 4 pun in mind... but I forgot it Radaway..."

"Did you hear about the overly-eager bread dough? In the morning he was always the first one to rise. He didn't want to be a loaf."

"What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line? A nice hare cut"

"What makes a freezer and a gay man different? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"I sent the guy on the couch to the store for bread. I'll get 6 texts and a phone call and he'll come back with peaches."