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Joke of the Day

"It's so cute how fish just can't contain their excitement when you cuddle them."

"Why is marriage like a tornado? Sure it's all sucking and blowing in the beginning, but by time it is over your house is gone."

"I heard that a few of the /r/Science mods also moderate /r/Jokes... [deleted]"

"What's black and white and green all over? A black environmentalist."

"Used lettuce for my burger bun tonight. I've never been more prepared to become your most hated Facebook friend."

"What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th? *Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*"

"Meanwhile, at the bar: Batman: ""Whisky."" Aquaman: ""Appletini."" ""WHAT?"" ""It's vodka, apple schnapps..."" ""You're off the Justice League."""

"If you're upset with someone, write down your feelings in a message. Put the message in a bottle. Hit them over the head with the bottle."

"kley (Proto-Indo-European)-> , (Greek)-> clima (Latin)-> climat (French)-> climate Climate change is man-made."

"Joan Rivers had so many facelifts That the ended up with a goatee"