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Joke of the Day

"What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th? *Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*"

"How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Stick a nipple on it."

"Do people with a foot fetish get off when their car gets towed?"

"A UDP packet walks into a I would tell you another UDP joke but you might not get it."

"What does a stegosaurus eat off of? His plates. -Jude; My five-year-old son"

"Me: Good night, moon. [30 mins later] Moon: I thought you went to bed. I saw you favorite that tweet. Why aren't you reading my messages?"

"Clean shirts Q: How does Snoop Dogg keep his tee shirts so white? A: Blee-otch."

"What do hitler and a boston marathon runner have in common The inability to finish a race"

"Where is the best place to hide a dead body? A cemetery"

"My dog eats his puke and dirty tissues... but I point him to a mushroom I dropped and he gives me the ""what is this shit"" look."