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Joke of the Day

"Used lettuce for my burger bun tonight. I've never been more prepared to become your most hated Facebook friend."

"Of course Jesus saves. He's Jewish."

"If the radius of a pizza is Z and the thickness is A, then the volume of pizza is PI x Z x Z x A. #asianshowingoff"

"I crashed my family's car I've always wanted to see how a Mercedes-Benz."

"This girl told me she could sing like a harp But she turned out to be a lyre."

"At an AC/DC concert... Brian Johnson: You guys ready to rock? Crowd: YESSSSSS Brian Johnson: I can't hear you!"

"Life is like box of chocolates ... it doesn't last long for the fat people."

"*classic 90's sitcom where sister is taking too long in the bathroom* Sister: hold on I'm taking a big shit. *theme music plays*"

"How do you make holy water from just plain water? You boil the hell out of it."

"What do you call a group of dogs? a PAW-se"