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Joke of the Day
"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? ""BREATHE DAMMIT!!"""
Next Joke
"If your iPhone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your electronics for you"
"I asked my priest which musical instruments he plays. ""Mostly just piano,"" he replied, ""but when I'm at work I sometimes dabble with a little organ."""
"Nerd joke of the week If Frodo is a Hobbit, are 8 Frodos a Hobbyte?"
"Dating tip: to impress your date, put a napkin on your lap. Along with your plate. And the table. And the waiter. You're now the restaurant."
"Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers."
"When someone asks me to think outside the box. I think about anal sex."
"When you say the word ""poop"" your mouth makes the same shape as your butthole when you poop The same can be said for ""explosive diarrhea"""
"Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows? TL;DR"
"texting and driving is dangerous because u might accidentally text the lips emoji to your boss"