199725

Joke of the Day

"I asked my priest which musical instruments he plays. ""Mostly just piano,"" he replied, ""but when I'm at work I sometimes dabble with a little organ."""

"""I wish I had the money to buy a million watermelons..."" ""What will you do with a million watermelons?"" ""I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money."""

"You are one well-defined function!"

"A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing. 'He's like a fish out of water.' You mean he's having trouble adjusting?' No, I mean he's dead.'"

"'Why are they arresting that dog?!? What did he do?!?' --my 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car"

"What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards? He keeps coming and coming and coming..."

"What blod type am I? Type-O"

"I always said ""Aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."" But apparently that's not a valid excuse and I can't work for NASA anymore."

"My suit made entirely of Hello Kitty Bandaids did not help me much at my hospital interview. Apparently you have to go to medical school."

"How does King Arthur take his pills? An African or European swallow"