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Joke of the Day

"Maybe if I swallow enough magnets I'll become attractive."

"Chuck Norris Joke Chuck Norris tells Preston about settlements that need help."

"I just installed a marijuana app It has kush notifications."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday. one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off."

"I'd tell you a good time travel joke But you didn't get it"

"Have you heard about the billboard company who only did JPEG files? I heard they got a lot of stretch marks."

"If you don't eat your candy corn in three separate bites starting from the big yellow end to the small white end, you're a communist."

"What is the speed limit of sex? 68, because at 69 you have to turn around."

"""Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"" is just not as challenging since she started using foursquare."

"A blonde asks her brunette friend... ... ""Didn't you get an HIV test last week?"" ""Yeah, it came back negative"" answered the brunette The blonde responds ""Maybe you should study next time"""