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Joke of the Day

"""Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"" is just not as challenging since she started using foursquare."

"My therapist told me the reason I have a lower sex life than I want Is because I misinterpret what people are telling me. I'm pretty sure she wants my dick."

"What do you get when you make a train engine happy? Locomotivation"

"Chuck Norris crab fishes the Bearing Sea using only a snorkel and a laundry basket."

"Why are there so many female archaeologists? Because women love digging up the past."

"Some guy scared me after class and I dropped all my notes He scared me sheet-less."

"Thank god I have the newest, fastest iPhone so I can mindlessly check the same three apps 500 times a day."

"miley cryus's career (please read title if you dont get joke)"

"Great. Ban gay marriage. Remember what happened during Prohibition? Now we're going to have everyone making bathtub gay marriages."

"How can you tell if someone is Italian? They'll tell you."