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Joke of the Day

"GOT knock knock Knock knock? Who's there? No one. No one, who? Jk it's Arya Stark. I'm out, Jaqen H'ghar."

"From now on, when you see the word ""minimum"", good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother."

"My tombstone will just say ""Deactivated."" I want people to be afraid that I could come back."

"""Count down to zero silently with your fingers and then do a fist pump."" - SWAT manual on breaking down doors"

"Fucking terrorists. I guess I can't google ""nice truck"" anymore to find out about the latest pickups on the market...."

"why does the NSA hate blizzards? Because they get Snowden."

"I dont pretend to be anything I'm not.. Except for sober I've pretended to be sober a few times"

"Fact: Your elbow is the most delicious part of the human body. Try it."

"News flash: Vandals destroy street signs They pulled out all the stops"

"""No child of mine is going out in a skirt that short."" ""Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"" ""Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."""