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Joke of the Day

"""No child of mine is going out in a skirt that short."" ""Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"" ""Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."""

"If someone who speaks 2 languages is Bilingual, whats someone who speaks 1 called? American. EDIT: My first post on Reddit and I get 1000+ up votes, thanks so much!!!"

"I got my retainer today So pleathe excuthe me if i talk funny for a few dayth"

"Did you guys hear about Freddie Mercury's bedroom furniture store? Nothing Really Mattress. They only sell queen size."

"Someone gave Chuck Norris the finger. He still has it."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? You really think feminists will ever change anything?"

"How does Albus get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble-door"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Blue ! Blue who ? Blue away with the wind !"

"I wanna make a toast, to all of you. But i have no bread."

"What do you call a productive Asian? China get something done."