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Joke of the Day

"I dont pretend to be anything I'm not.. Except for sober I've pretended to be sober a few times"

"""What's that in the bag?"" ""An AK-47."" ""No next to that."" ""A bag of cheetos."" ""You can't bring that into the movie."""

"Why are there no black CIA agents? Because you'd never be able to convince him to help the massive drug smuggling conspiracy that's shipping cocaine into his family's neighborhood."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired"

"How much is the price of sex in New Zealand? About $20 a kilo."

"Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients."

"Why is a miscarriage like a shitty pizza? They're both cold upon delivery."

"I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food."

"just got mad and flipped a table but it spun all the way around in landed right side up. everyone in Applebee's is clapping"

"Did you hear about the guy who froze himself? I hear he is 0K!"