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Joke of the Day

"My tombstone will just say ""Deactivated."" I want people to be afraid that I could come back."

"Two Zulu's met in my shop today.. They just clicked."

"Texas - A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9,600 in damages rather than serving a prison sentence. He gave the court a check--a forged check. He was sentenced to ten years."

"Maybe the Mayans were talking about hockey"

"What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it."

"Two satellites get married The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!"

"Just dropped ranch dressing on my phone then licked it off. So some of you just got to first base with me."

"My wife is constantly hiding things where they belong."

"What does 9/11 and cancer have in common? They were both inside Jobs"

"Where did the general put his armies? In his SLEEVIES!!!"