66616

Joke of the Day

"I didn't sleep at all last night I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went... and then it dawned on me."

"Son: ""Mom, Dad... I'm gay"" Mom: *staring at dad Dad: *clenches fists Mom: ...don't! Dad: *sweats profusely Mom: Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD"

"My way or the highway. It takes two to tango. What I'm saying is, ""welcome to idiom club"". Now, let's cut to the chase."

"Cemeteries are some of the most popular clubs in the world... ...I mean, people are literally *dying* to get in."

"I often antagonize black people in hopes they call me a jive turkey."

"What would be a Jew's fighting stance in mortal kombat? Jew jipped you!"

"There's a C cup, a T cup, and a P cup The C cup is for drinking coffee The T cup is for drinking tea And the P cup is used to get a Mexican to work"

"The worktops in my kitchen were put in by a professional counter-fitter... Turns out they were fake."

"Me I'm a joke."

"Me: I am sad, we don't have any cookie crumble for my ice cream. Wife: lots of things make me sad, like being married to a giant man baby"