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Joke of the Day

"Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than ""he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand""."

Next Joke
 
"What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair. ^sorry"
"What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake"
"*Breaks glass to steal Mona Lisa* You crazy? Security will hear us Security: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE? NOTHING Security: ALRIGHT"
"What do women and Spotify ads have in common? They're both annoying and want your money."
"[describing robbers to sketch artist] Make his ears more lethargic. That's better, now flare his nostrils like he's excited about a sale."
"What do you call a psychic dwarf who has escaped from prison? Small medium at large."
"What did one John say to the other John? ""What's the matter? You look flushed!"""
"I just saw Ex Machina... I thought it was supposed to be about AI, and not just about women."
"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... (Self-Repost) ...One turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks in there!""."