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Joke of the Day

"to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other"

"You see two puppies. ""Awwwww!"" But they're cannibal puppies! ""Ahhhhhhh!"" One puppy eats the other! ""Ewwwww!"" Then he takes a nap. ""Awwwww!"""

"People who failed committing suicide... How do they live with themselves?"

"How does Times Square start the new year? By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! ""The audience can sing this one."""

"What's the most assigned elementary school essay in Chicago? ""What I want to be *IF* I grow up"""

"I identify as a creeper from minecraft Because I become unstable when people get to close to me"

"Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Boris Johnson walk into a room...Oh God. This isn't even a joke anymore. Help"

"without nipples....... boobs would be pointless"

"What did the janitor say when he came out of the closet? SUPPLIES!"

"To some, it's known as ""soda."" Some call it ""pop."" Some even order it as ""coke"" or ""cola."" The spicy bubble brown juice goes by many names"