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Joke of the Day

"What did Donald Trump say to the thieving immigrant at the RNC? Great speech sweetheart!"

"If you come to my front door with a clip board I will just ask you if your clip board is an ipad until you leave."

"I got a call at work telling me my daughter missed period number 3. When I woke up in the ambulance it turns out it was the school calling."

"Why won't you ever see an American slav squatting? Because his spurs will get stuck up his asshole!"

"I would have been a stripper... ...but I just couldn't pull it off. Follow the format; go!"

"My cousins baby child keeps pointing at me and saying 'cat'"

"A dyslexic man walks into a bar And yells ""Hands up mother fuckers! This is a stick up!"""

"What is Superman's favorite thing to eat for breakfast? A Bag-El"

"How do you organise a space party? You planet!"

"cw: 4 is allergic to cats & we have a 9yr old cat at home. Sucks me: Getting rid of it? cw: Have to, why? me: Is cats it's only defect?"