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Joke of the Day

"""ENTER PASSWORD"" *types 'snowflake'* ""RE-ENTER PASSWORD"" *types 'snowflake'* ""ERROR. PASSWORDS MUST BE IDENTICAL""."

"I'm sorry I burned down your house, but the Mythbusters told me not to try it at home and you should really lock your doors when you go out."

"Did you hear Buzz Lightyear was arrested? He was charged with battery."

"What do you call a dog with no legs?... It doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come."

"The Runaway Horse by Gay Topen"

"Light beer is like having sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water"

"I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say ""no."""

"Why does ""new and improved"" always end up ""expensive and shitty""?"

"I had a step ladder... ...but I've never met my 'real' ladder."

"What did Saddam Hussein have in common with Little Miss Muffet? He also had Kurds in his way."