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Joke of the Day

"Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe? it's fucking close to water."

"Why are sharts always a surprise? Because you can never see that shit coming."

"Obama could eat children alone under a bridge hunched over like Gollum in a thunder storm and he'd still be better than Bush."

"A man tells his wife...... Husband: Hey, you and I should make a sex tape! For the future! Wife: Ehhhhh........ It'd be more like a vine."

"I keep swallowing live ammunition. I thought, this time I'm going to go to the hospital, but as usual, I just farted a round at home."

"Give a man a fish.. C'mon..give it... bad doggy.."

"They tried to combine a networked hard drive with a device that brewed drinks... It was NAS-tea"

"How are hanging upside-down and getting a boner alike? All the blood goes to your head."

"How does a woman pick up Donald Trump? With a pooper-scooper."

"Hey guys, look! Original content made it on to ifunny!"