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Joke of the Day

"How Are A Prostitute And A Pirate Ship Alike? They're both full of seamen."

"Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because a semi truck hit her."

"I hate Christmas. I work throughout the year to afford gifts, and the fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit. Still I suppose it's my fault for marrying her."

"Have you heard of the musical condoms? They started a rubber band."

"How did the Hipster burn his tongue? He ate pizza before it was cool"

"Who is the KKK's favorite children's character ? The White-Power Ranger I came up with this after reading a cracked article."

"People who try to stop you on the street to sell stuff are the real world equivalent of online pop-ups."

"Dear McDonald's cashier, Don't give me that look, there's no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don't forget the toy b!tch."

"How do you titillate an Ocelot? Ocillate it's tit a lot"

"[me after 1 minute of jogging] this is good, this was a good decision [me after 3 minutes of jogging] life is suffering, there is no god"