197551

Joke of the Day

"People who try to stop you on the street to sell stuff are the real world equivalent of online pop-ups."

"I was addicted to brake fluid... ...but I know I can stop whenever I want!"

"Son: Is it true? Dad I heard that in ancient China a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere son everywhere!"

"If you watch the way that many motorists drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most dangerous part of a car is the nut behind the wheel."

"Best pick up line in a gay bar? ""May I push your stool in?"""

"If there's one thing everybody can agree on, no there isn't."

"My can of whoop ass seems to have expired."

"""Suddenly, my hair collapsed."" - And I started to regret offering to edit my friend's first novel."

"What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking? A leave of Absinthe."

"I don't condone workplace violence, until someone microwaves fish in the break room."