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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard of the musical condoms? They started a rubber band."

"A soft taco moved to a bad neighborhood and when he went back to visit his old friends they didn't recognize him... Because he had turned into a hard taco! Hehehe"

"Did you hear about the fighting dwarf? He's funny. A real knee-slapper."

"Some people don't realize how grateful they should be that I'm not allowed to carry a sword in public."

"So there was this surfer dude called Curl, but he died in a tsunami wave RIP Curl"

"A bad picture of you, and your automatic response is... ""Don't put that on Facebook!"""

"In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep."

"Shoutout to my grandpa. That's the only way he can hear..."

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... ...fucking livid..."

"The worst is when you text someone and they text you back 2 hrs later but you already keyed their car and emailed their secrets to everyone."