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Joke of the Day

"[me after 1 minute of jogging] this is good, this was a good decision [me after 3 minutes of jogging] life is suffering, there is no god"

"What do you call a nosy pepper? jalapeno business!"

"I used to be an adventurer until I took a knee to the arrow"

"GOD: Let's give her ALL the awesome. ""But what if it's TOO much awesome?"" GOD: Then we'll divide it evenly between multiple personalities."

"Two cows are in a pasture. The first cow says, ""Moo."" The second cow says, ""Damn, man... I was just about to say that!"""

"What title do a sandwich and an occupation in the porn industry share? The Fluffernutter."

"Trumps penis is so big... That on a (qwerty) keyboard it stretches all the way from A to Z"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb None they'll all beat the room for being black."

"How to serve someone a summons to court 1) Knock on their door 2) Holding a really big check for $1,000,000 3) With a ""camera crew"" 4) Verify person's name 5) JK you've been served."

"Oh thank God (what I think every time I enter an public restroom that's empty)"