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Joke of the Day

"At 31 years old, I decided to grow up, kick a bad habit and stopped biting my nails. The nosebleeds are getting annoying, though."

"What do you call a dog without front legs? Chester."

"Have you guys seen the new Ray Rice's jersey It's a wife beater"

"A man walks into a crowded bar brandishing a gun... The man yells out ""WHOS BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE???"" A few moments later, a man in the back yells back ""YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH BULLETS!""."

"If I share my food with you, it's either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don't want it."

"Which is the most eco-friendly subreddit? r/Jokes, because 99% of its products are made from recycled material."

"Have you heard the one about the jellyfish? It's a real no-brainer."

"Fishy tales Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk? Because he was stuck in denial."

"[parent-teacher conference] Teacher: Which kid is yours? Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'?"