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Joke of the Day

"Is your refrigerator running? Because if your fridge is moving on its own volition you have bigger fucking problems than the goddamn election"

"How many Tourette's suffers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Ass fucking cunt bitch just one cocksucker whore"

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs and balls of steel? Sparky"

"What is the difference between British and American schoolchildren? British schoolchildren survive hide-and-seek."

"""You're free now"" I say to my stomach as I unbutton my pants."

"Why did the teacher decide to become an electrician? To get a bit of light relief."

"I met this one guy who thought killing someone to save many is still wrong. God, what a Kant."

"I wanted to go to Neptune But Uranus is in the way."

"Why did Jon Snow go to the Apple Store? For the Watch."

"I saw a man with a several rabbits on his head today... When I inquired as to why he had rabbits on his head, he simply stated ""From a distance they look like hares"""