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Joke of the Day

"Have you guys seen the new Ray Rice's jersey It's a wife beater"

"I'll sleep when I'm dead. I'll sleep tonight as well. There's also a pretty good chance I'll take a nap soon."

"I'm getting a restraining order against my debt collectors. As much as they call me it's really just starting to come across as desperate"

"What type of porn do Canadians watch? Fifty shades of eyy"

"Hate to brag, but a cute fireman gave me his number today. It's only 3 digits & he said it's only for emergencies, but I know what he meant"

"A tiny Tarzan swinging from your Tampon string."

"I like my beer like i like my violence... Domestic."

"I likes my liver like I likes my Twitter. Over capacity."

"King Midas doesn't like baths He likes golden showers."

"What's long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber you nasty bastard"