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Joke of the Day

"Toilet paper and my iPhone have a lot in common... both are essential when I take a s$it."

"Funny how you can tell a child Santa is made up and they accept it immediately, but you tell an adult God is made up, and they throw a fit."

"I like my coffee like I like my women From Kenya and tastes like warm diarrhea."

"A hamburger walks into a bar The bartender says we don't serve food here!"

"When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed My name, my address, my phone number"

"It should be legal to shoot people who speed up only to keep you from passing."

"What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane? Hi Jack!"

"Bought a Clap-On Clap-Off light for my bedroom Nearly gave the hooker a seizure during a rough session."

"Clearly, who ever said ""more than a hand full is a waste"" never have actually had their hand on more than a hand full."

"People that can't support their own arguments piss me off... I don't know why."