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Joke of the Day
"When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed My name, my address, my phone number"
Next Joke
"Two hikers are standing on a bridge over a stream, peeing over the side. First hiker: ""Wow, this water's cold."" Second hiker: ""And deep."""
"What are two letters a Brit can't live without? T and Qs."
"My son fell asleep on a lego. He is in critical condition and will be getting surgery this morning. He is currently on morphine and has had several seizures."
"Superheroes come from broken homes & inattentive parents. Parents, stop hugging your kids. We need a Batman."
"What's white, located in washington and has a president within it? Monica Lewinsky's teeth."
"Don't smoke Unless you're on fire, then it's natural."
"Just tried to put my seatbelt on. AT MY DESK. I'm pretty."
"What's the three fastest ways of communication? Telephone, telegraph, and tell-a-woman."
"Took a random unmarked pill I found on the floor because times are tough and no matter what happens it'll make for good tweets."