160220

Joke of the Day

"Clearly, who ever said ""more than a hand full is a waste"" never have actually had their hand on more than a hand full."

"Wife: ""I look fat. Tell me something to make me feel better."" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist? Because they fought both tooth and nail!"

"So here I am in this internet cafe... ...with the biggest fucking nigger I've ever seen reading every word I ty"

"New day, same old bullshit."

"Twitter should give you rollover characters from your short tweets."

"Did you hear about the Italian that wanted to cheat the Broadway award voting? He wanted to rig a Tony."

"Who is Joseph Kony's favorite rapper? Soulja Boy"

"This waitress at Olive Garden has been grating cheese onto my plate for 13 hours now."

"Scientists have discovered a new way to get AIDS from toilets You sit down before the other man is done."