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Joke of the Day
"People that can't support their own arguments piss me off... I don't know why."
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"Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo? A: Write 'pp espressivo'."
"Why do pirates love Playboy Magazine? You'd think it's for the booty, but they really read it for the arrrticles."
"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't call him anything, we both know that he's not coming"
"People who wait 3 hours to respond to a text ""LOL"" should be punched in the neck. Your not fooling anybody. You weren't LOLing that long."
"My imagination ran away with me, but we're both out of shape and didn't get very far."
"The Canadian military is just a guy named Ross with a flare gun in an aluminum boat."
"Most Viral Trend of 2014 Announced News just in: Most viral trend of 2014 formally announced: Ebola."
"I'm socially constipated... I haven't given a shit in years"
"The Starbucks in my town just hired a Jewish barista... He brews."