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Joke of the Day

"""Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"" -""A little early isn't it, Woody?"" -""For a beer?"" -""No, for stupid questions."""

"""Son: Dad, i had sex for the first time"" 'Dad: That is great Son! Sit down and tell me all about it' 'son: Yeah about that...'"

"I was going to sue U2 for stealing one of my songs But I found out my lawyer was pro-bono."

"A Roman walks into a bar... Holds up two fingers and asks for five drinks."

"Why Does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle."

"What's wrong with the plane that flies to Holland? It Netherlands."

"Have you ever done it kitty style? It's like doggy style, but with purring, scratching and biting."

"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

"Coworker: You're so condescending and arrogant. Me: They mean the same thing so you didn't need to say both."

"Anyone can beat a polygraph.It doesn't even have hands."