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Joke of the Day

"I tried turning my AC off today but couldn't.... Turns out it's hard to stop a Trane."

"How does a white lady fix a flat tire? She buys a new car."

"I recently quit my job at a wind farm... It turns out i'm not a big fan"

"I hear U.S military bases in the Middle East party hard. The soldiers there are always taking shots."

"If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving probably isn't for you!"

"I was trying to work out what that flying red disk was But then it hit me"

"So I just gave birth to a butt baby [NSFW] Well, actually no, it came out in a bunch of pieces so I guess it was more of a butt abortion."

"I thought I kept all my David Fincher DVDs safely, but... I lost The Game."

"I met this vegetarian girl yesterday i had never met herbivore"

"Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question."