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Joke of the Day

"a man walks into a bar he falls to the floor unconscious. oldy, but a goody."

"My boyfriend is so bad at tongue-twisters, he can't even say ""I love you"" ONE times fast!!"

"God all I want is a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't change me."

"They should play ""Let the bodies hit the floor"" On Life Alert commercials."

"Death When a family member unexpectedly dies, what's the proper waiting period before removing their stick figure from the back of the minivan?"

"Moses: Thanks for the mana in the desert. God: No problem. Moses: But since you can make anything- God: FOR THE LAST TIME, NO PIZZA."

"How long did Cain beat his brother? As long as he was Abel."

"What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common? Cold turkey"

"One day a boy was answering all the questions right in class.... Girl: Wow, what a fucking nerd Teacher: Be nice, he might be your boss one day Boy: Nah, I don't ever plan on being a pimp"

"Why can't the train lady have a baby? Because she's miss carriaged.^(is it morbid?)"