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Joke of the Day

"As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids."

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"My girlfriend broke up with me because I play too many video games. Seems like something pretty stupid to Fallout for."
"What does Jerry Jones do after winning the Super Bowl? Gives the X Box back to grandkids"
"Sam Adams is the main reason I know what season it is."
"The Mrs recognizes my ""tell"" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud ""A-OOGA"" noise."
"One good thing about premature ejaculation is that porn lasts you a very long time. I bought a video back in 1992 and I still haven't made it past the FBI warning thing."
"What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles? Electricity."
"A good pun is its groan reward!"
"How come I can get free wifi with a $3 cup of coffee but I can't get it with a $150 hotel room?"
"I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord. I kept almost dying"