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Joke of the Day

"Bernie Sanders may be old, but he loves modern technologies such as. . . Socialist Media."

"What's the difference between a gambler and a Kasich supporter? A gambler might lose."

"*barges into bank with guns drawn Alright everyone now be cool and no one gets hurt! *hands out sunglasses all around Nice. Nice."

"Why do traffic lights never go swimming? Because they spend too much time changing."

"Why doesn't a duck wear underwear? Because their pecker's on their face."

"Did ya hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated RRRR!"

"A zombie ate the brain of a taekwondo master. The zombie said, ""Mmmm. That had a nice kick to it."""

"Loose weight I feel that the only option for me to loose weight is to either smoke crack or ingest a tape worm but they both require a commitment level that I am uncomfortable with."

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."

"Cows What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Donald Trump"