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Joke of the Day

"Loose weight I feel that the only option for me to loose weight is to either smoke crack or ingest a tape worm but they both require a commitment level that I am uncomfortable with."

"Since women are always looking for ways to accentuate their boobs... I'm creating a new line of shirts with attached seat belts."

"On a long road trip.. When deciding whether to stop at a rest area, I always say, ""Speak now or forever hold your pee""."

"On your mark, get set, go f*ck yourself."

"what do they call a hot looking girl who will love you and stay devoted to you forever? let me know once you find one"

"What's white and drips from the cloud? The coming of the Lord."

"Why are camouflage jokes always great? Because you never see them coming."

"Everyone in my house has diarrhea I guess it runs in the family"

"NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs..."

"It's saying something when you marry Charles Manson and you look like the crazy one."