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Joke of the Day

"I like to leave odd yelp reviews for fast food restaurants that say things like, ""Not overly racist."""

"When I'm in a room full of toddlers, I can't help but scan it for potential serial killers"

"Some men are born to greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them. Me? I like waffles."

"I'm not calling you a slut, But if you had a password for your vagina it would be ""1234"""

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out man!"

"TIL if you say ""gullible"" very slowly it'll come out sounding like ""oranges"". Gotchya!?"

"How come north Carolina is the bluest state? Raleigh scattering"

"A man is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy: ""Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared."" Man: ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."""

"Her: How do you do it w/ 4 kids? Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah."

"My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, ""Who else would I cheat on?"""