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Joke of the Day

"A man is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy: ""Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared."" Man: ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."""

"I put ""the rap"" in therapy. Yo, yo. Emotional baggage, bitter like cabbage. Rollin up the green like a Hulked out savage. Burger, Inc."

"TIFU by having the wrong teacher take my class for me while I was off Work. Whoops, wrong sub."

"[jumps in getaway car after bank robbery] ""They said no I couldn't have any money"" Damn it, they make it look so easy in the movies"

"If a lobsters come in on lobster boats, and clams come in on clam boats, what do crabs come in on? The captain's dinghy."

"What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra."

"Great, yet another drive-in movie ruined by the neighbors saying I can't park on their lawn and watch movies through the living room window."

"I don't always roll a joint, But when I do it's my ankle"

"Life is too short for my book of 5 letter words."

"Receptionist at a sperm bank ""Thanks for coming."""