65792

Joke of the Day

"What do you call 3 agnostics sitting at a bar? I don't know."

"Why didn't the skeleton ask out the Zombie to go to the Halloween party? He didn't have the guts"

"What did the detective particle say to the suspect particle? I got my ion you."

"This skinny girl just told me she ""forgets"" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it's contagious."

"I don't trust a taxi cab that has more than two air fresheners."

"I burned 1000 calories today... Forgot I had a pizza in the oven."

"If I had a dime for every time a homeless person asked for money, I'd still say no. - Bo Burnham."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat? 'cause if they fell forward, they'd still be in the Fuckin' boat! I'll show myself out."

"I have a shellfish allergy and I got an allergic reaction to it So The Fine Brothers sued me"

"I'ts so cold outside... I actually saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."